It's Not Me, It's You - An Open Letter To Lush

For a long time I was an avid Lushie. I tried out all the seasonal products, raved about the permanent collection, went insane over the Kitchen and swore by every single thing I used, even if they turned out to not be that great. But then, something changed and I thought it was me. I was prepared to admit that I was fickle, and my opinions were as seasonal as well, non-UK weather. But I recently went back to a Lush store, expecting to be shook and I was disappointed as hell. It took this brief trip for me to realise that I hadn't changed. Lush had.

This Is Why We Can't Be Friends - An Open Letter To Lush

You're Expensive As Hell
People on an average to low income, who used to be able to buy your vegan wares, can't afford to shop with you any longer. A shampoo costs upwards of £7, a bath bomb averages £5, moisturisers will set you back a score. Every time I think the prices are going to stabilize I decide, yeah, I can put some money aside for a small haul, then BAM another tenner has been added on to my basket of four products. I get that these products are meant to be luxury but you can't market them as basic vegan/animal cruelty-free staples then whack up the costs every 20 minutes. It's daylight robbery and you should be ashamed. Just because you can charge what you want, doesn't mean you should.

Your product range looks pretty, but everything smells the same now. I like citrus but I don't want every product to be orange based, for example. I liked things that were different and ingenius. Like the fennel Sugar Scrub, minty Dirty soap and apple crumble scented Fizzbanger. All discontinued. Why? What happened? Who hurt you?

Oh and btw, a "Naked Shower Gel" is a fucking soap. Don't kid a kidder.

Why don't you like me?
Adding to that, you only cater for two types of people these days, 1. Teenagers whose parents have amazing disposable income for bath bombs and shower gel, and 2. Older people who have amazing disposable income to buy your overpriced (but admittedly lovely) soap. No one I know can afford to shop with yourselves regularly because of the alarming prices, and the ones that do, don't see much they want because like most shops aimed towards women at the moment, the 24-40 bracket has been left out entirely.

Why don't you like me? Part 2
You don't give a shit about your online fan base, quite clearly. You provide NO support for the Boxing Day Sale and then when people were sick of it and demanded more, you just took it down - if you can't get to a shop then you're not getting anything. Which just smacks of arrogance and ignorance. If you were actually bothered, you'd have made sure that those people who either couldn't get there because of distance, work or disability had an option. Instead you basically stuck two fingers up at them and looked the other way.

Ya Ain't All That
A lot of your products contain rubbish and you wrap them up in words like organic and natural to make them seem earthy and wonderful but in fact, you still use harmful products. Not everything is vegan friendly. But its hardly mentioned in your shops, conveniently. Online its a little bit more noticeable because the logos are evident and ingredients are readily available. Even then though, you can't use SLS and brush it under the carpet by sticking it in the bottom of the ingredients list and play see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. It doesn't work like that. It's not false advertising but it's sneaky.

Okay, so this is a two-parter because you ARE doing some great things for your European UK-based workers. You're helping them keep their jobs when leaving the country, that's fantastic, keep up the good work on that one.

However, you threatened to move your factories out of the country. I get it, Brexit is terrible, but by even saying that you're basically - again - shoving two fingers up at Britain, the country where you were founded, the people who work for you, support you and the enormous fan base who love you. You don't threaten the ones you're supposed to love, Lush. I don't think you will follow up on this, but if you did, you'd be further hiking up prices, pushing out your British fan base and ruining it for even more people like me who used to be battering down the door to get at your merchandise. I want to love you, why won't you let me love you?

And that, Lush, is why we can't be friends.

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